Me, my brother, a rock and the World's Fair
When I was 9 years old, my parents had planned a quick summer vacation to Knoxville, Tenn., for the World's Fair. (This is the same World's Fair made even more famous by "The Simpsons" -- once when Homer fires up a "Knoxville World's Fair" cigar in a movie theater, then again a few years later when Bart, Milhouse, Nelson and Martin travel to the former Underwear Capital of the World under the misguided notion that the 1982 World's Fair is still going on.) Mom and Dad already were loading the car, and the family was all fired up to see the fair and explore its theme: "Energy turns the world." (I'm guessing they didn't talk much about peak oil back in 1982, eh?)
However, my family didn't make it to Knoxville that summer. One day -- one stinkin' day -- before we were supposed
I called on Andrew for help, but instead of coming to my aid, he stood, pointed and laughed with the other boys, trying to impress them with his indifference and apparent cruelty, I'd wager. Arseholes, each and every one of them. As I struggled to grab anything to catch myself, my slow, inexorable slide into the muck continued. Soon, I was wet and covered in mud, no thanks to my older brother or the two neighborhood scalawags -- both of whom, I am quite sure, are now in prison somewhere for some meaningless crime that they no doubt thought was incredibly important at the time. ("Hey, Earl! We gots to steal this cigarette machine, then we'll be HEROES down at the pork rendering plant, and Chlamydia and her sister Syphillina will HAVE to go out with us!" "Yeah, dibs on the one with the hook hand!") Bastards!
After wading upstream a bit to climb out the shallower slope, I started trudging back to the house, but not before grabbing a good chunk of rock, about the size of my wee little 9-year-old fist. As the cackling continued down by the creek, I felt my anger building to Bruce Banner-like proportions. Finally, I couldn't stand it, so I turned and chucked that rock about 50 feet ... and it hit the ground, bounced a time or two and struck Andrew right on the ankle. Ouch.
Within hours, his ankle had swollen to twice its normal size. Doctors orders? Stay off his feet and soak his ankle every few hours. Obviously, there would be no traipsing around greater Knoxville, gazing at the wonders of the globe and eating funnel cakes, corn dogs and oh-so-many other deep-fried delicacies. (Why didn't that bloody sawbones son of a bitch just say: "Well, Mr. and Mrs. Castle, it seems your 9-year-old son has tried to slay your 11-year-old son in a rather Cain-like fashion. He has ruined your family's vacation, and if I were you, I would lock him in the cellar and feed him table scraps before he succeds in one of his homicidal rages. Once he is 18, you can have the would-be murderer locked away in a gulag or proper insane asylum. Here's a list of a few Dickensian workhouses to get you started ...")
No World's Fair, no vacation of any sort that summer -- all because my temper and thirst for vengeance (I reluctantly stopped calling it "justice" a few years ago) for just a moment overwhelmed my gentle, kind-hearted spirit.
Who gives a damn, though? The Sunsphere was overrated anyway, and I'd rather go to Dollywood.
Comments
Saw it once from a distance, just passing through. It they were serious about the 'energy' bit, it wood-a been covered with solar collectors. World's Fairs as a concept to fall off the radar screen after this one.
Collector tip: sometimes Knoxville/ Sunsphere, uh, collectibles (drinking glasses, ashtrays) still show up in midwestern flea markets and garage sales. While not exactly antiques, any Simpsons exposure will lend them kitsch value. In theory, anyway. : )
Screaming for vengeance!! Ah, brothers. I once clocked my brother in the head with a chunk of the street. The street was cracking along the edges and I took full advantage of the combat opportunity. A nice little slab of tar and gravel. Pow! He was not pleased.
Of course, there was the time he punched me in the face...directly through a pane of glass in the kitchen door no less. I was not pleased either.
It's a good thing we've survived these Banner Bursts (some brothers don't). Now, our brothers are dear to hearts. All is forgiven. Or is it?
Good show, Joe. Anyway, I do the travel events calendar for my job, and let me tell you, Dollywood rocks! It's on my dream list. Watch out for the shit-puppets...
What about Sunsphere Ear rings?
I can see it now -